October 8, 2011

"Why did you shave your calves?"

     I didn't shave my calves, at least not all the way. But there comes a time in the life of cyclist that the question arises. Should I shave my legs and join the "fast" club? And lately I've been riding with some pretty fast guys who are not only faster than me on a bike, but also shave their legs. So, I can't say I haven't thought about it. But, what a commitment that must be. I really don't have time to take a shower with an incorporated leg shave every day.
     One the other hand — if I do decide to lather up and go hairless, there are some really appetizing dynamics that would go along with it. For example, when I see my fave in the shower all wet and slippery, it makes me want to get all wet and slick with her. And imagine how fun it would be to jump in with her and have a shave off. Aside from the toll an event like this would take on my shower drain, there's a lot of upside here.
     As you've read, I've put a lot of thought into this, and am nearing a decision. And what if shaving my legs actually makes me a faster rider? Would I be riding with the front of the peloton? There's only one way to find out. Besides, I ride enough to know when I am getting faster or slower, and what the general cause is. If I drink or eat too much in a particular week I will have to work harder during weekend rides. And if I eat like a hippy all week (granola, berries and no red meat) my legs feel spry, much like how I imagine a jackrabbit feels daily.
     So I have decided to do this:
My left calve with a hairless spot (photo: my fave)
     As you can see, I shaved a stripe out of each of my calves (the right matches) and will test them out tomorrow. What you can't see is that I actually have bald ankles as well, and have for a long time. I wear tight socks that rub it off. My dad has the same hairless ankles — he must wear tight socks too. Needless to say, my legs have never had a more awesome hair pattern.
     This brings me full circle to my fave. I announced this news to her while she was hanging pictures in the hall.
     I asked her, "can you take a picture of my calves?"
     "Why?" She said.
     "Because I shaved them," I replied.
     "Why did you shave your calves?" She asked.
     I said, "to go faster on my bike, but don't worry, I didn't shave my legs entirely."
     It actually went over well, and she even didn't act surprised. She just took the photo I asked and was about to carry on with her picture-hanging project when I caught her off guard by asking her for one more request.
     "Will you lick it?" I asked.
     "Lick what?" She said.
     "The spot," I replied.
     How did she respond?
My fave licking the bald spot (photo: PandP)
     And that's why she's my fave.


  1. Maybe it you wear really tight socks all the way up your leg shaving won't even be an issue!

  2. I do that in the winter, maybe it's the year long commitment that I need.