Dear My Fave,
I apologize for the toast I gave at your thirtieth birthday party the other night. After sleeping on it for two nights (thankfully not alone) I now understand why you were a little annoyed and I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you in future toasts. I should have been more thoughtful when putting together notes in my head of things to say and not included words such as, "swollen," "moist" and "discharge" in my presentation, even though I think they are funny topics to discuss and the idea was inspired by a text that I received from you. I don't blame you for having this look on your face while I was talking:
|You look so beautiful, photo: Adreanne Shaw|
In an effort to show you just how sorry I am, I have included a Toast Request form on the right side of this blog, so now you or anyone can schedule me for toasts at events and family gatherings. I believe this will solve the problem we encountered at your party by giving me time to prepare my material before anyone hands me a microphone. Again — I am sorry and I look forward to toasting you in the future.