September 8, 2011


     The other day I said to my favorite person, "hey, we should get a wild animal." I throw this erroneous idea out every few months which usually results in me going on about how our dog would love the company and how we could build it a cozy fort within our house. My species suggestions are usually of the jungle or safari type like lemurs or meerkats — the other day it was a wolf, because I saw one at Chipotle. I even asked Google to show my fave some images of wolves, which along with my sales pitch earned a small response. It didn't earn me a wolf, but that's okay, because what we didn't know at the time was that we already have some wild animals.
Our once prosperous basil plant (PandP)
    And only a wild animal could be responsible for reversing photosynthesis on my basil plant and reducing it's size by a fifth of what it once was. 
My leafless bamboo plant (PandP)
     And only a wild animal, or a pack of them could be to blame for shearing off the leaves and shoots of my bamboo plant that once made such a soothing sound in the wind.
Two wild animals nesting in my barbecue (PandP)
     Ah ha, it took a while, but I finally have some wild animals. I went out on the balcony the other day to water the plants and thought it was strange that we didn't have any more plants to water. And I thought it was odd that the beach towels hanging out to dry had holes in them that I never noticed before. And when I noticed that our barbecue was really dirty and had palm tree remnants closed in it's lid, I thought — either my fave has been burning our yard waste in the grill, or we have a new pet.
     So I crept up slowly on my barbecue with my iCamera and gently lifted the lid only to discover that we have wild animals that already know how to make a fort of their own. What a disappointment. I always thought the best part of having an animal like this would be to borrow out a wall or a piece of furniture to make them comfortable.
     As you'd imagine, I don't quite know what to do with these creative fort builders. I've considered some of my options and am close to concluding that the best one just give the grill to the rats and move it elsewhere so they don't continue to eliminate my plants and flowers. What do you think is the most humane solution? I'll keep you updated as the drama unfolds.


  1. Kill 'em Jesse before they multiply and invade. Remember the black plague.

  2. Maybe someone has a cat I can borrow?

  3. Better keep the door closed!!