Out of the Saddle

I will be out of the saddle for a few more days in an undisclosed location. In the meantime you can find me on Twitter, where I'll do my best to tweet some cycling-related jabber. twitter:@PedalandPetal

I wasn't going to blog today or tomorrow

    Remember yesterday how I told you I was receiving text messages of ridicule through my cellular telephone due to my lack of posting? After my post yesterday I thought that all this would come to an end, however, that wasn't the case. And in fact, not only did I receive uncomplimentary text messages today, but I've also come to find out that my favorite blogger called me "old" on his blog.
     Now I am not totally sure this is a direct correlation to me not writing, but I am going to go ahead and believe that's the case. We are actually going out for a beer tonight along with another friend, who said, "that's dumb" to the fact that I have to wait for my favorite person to come home and spell me of kid and dog duty.

     Regardless of how "dumb" or "old" I am not, this is what I'll be plotting tonight. Because the three of us share a common passion for cycling there will most likely be some bartering for bike parts going on. Here's what I am bringing to the table. I have a garage full of bike parts that I am going to try and trade for the pink Bianchi that my sister would ride so unsafely. And as you can see by this picture taken by JKess of his living room, he needs to rid himself of some bike stuff. And even more so since  he still lives with his mom, who by the way just signed on for an episode of "Hoarders" in hopes of correcting her son before it's too late.

JKess' mom's living room (Photo Credit: JKess

(Note: This is the point in this post where I stopped writing because I had to leave to drink beer.)
    

Curiously Reappearing

     It's been over a month since my last post, and while I certainly noticed that I haven't been writing on a regular basis — I didn't expect it to affect the people closest to me as much as it has. This last week in particular has been really tough on them, so much that sending heckling text messages daily seems to be common practice on their part. And so I feel that an explanation for my absence is in order, but I really don't have one. It's kind of like when you're in middle school and you break up with your girlfriend or boyfriend for no apparent reason other than you just feel like it. I was usually on the losing end of that debacle, so I guess I should have had more compassion for my loyal followers who I abruptly left stranded on the side of the trial without an extra tube or inflation device. So as I work through this post perhaps there will be an explanation hidden somewhere, but I doubt it.

Ridiculous excuse for a riding partner

      Here is my last riding partner who invited me on a ride and waited until I showed up to tell me that he can't ride up any hills because of his injured knee. If you're wondering how his injury occurred, I am not really sure, but perhaps there's an explanation on his blog, which I am boycotting until I write a post (I will be reading his blog immediately after I finish this post).
      Quick backtrack — do you remember a while back when someone outbid my sister for a used Bianchi simply to keep more women off of bikes? Well, this is him in the photo above on that particular bike, showing up for the without any hills.
     So as I was going to say in the above paragraph — due to his hatred of women on bikes, he probably put his knee into a woman who was just riding along and of course injured himself in the process.
     And scenarios like this suck the cycle-blogging life out of me, and as a result, we are left without content on the blog. And instead of blogging when I get home from a ride or a flower picking session I end up doing this.

View from my lap (Photo: PedalandPetal)

     If you look closely there is season two of 90210 illuminating our television, while I lay in bed with a six-pound Maltese on my lap. How could it get any better, but wait it does because I don't wear clothes when I do this.

Funny Things Happen When You Ride a Bike

     We live near a little downtown area filled with shops and restaurants that generally seems to be pretty safe. We often walk or ride our bikes here especially in the summer because who the hell wants to be in a car anyways? Well, last night my favorite person requested that I embark on a quest to satisfy her sweet tooth. She sent me to the local fro-yo shop and wanted a timely retreat. So I said okay and went to grab my bike because I knew it would get me there and back quicker than my SUV. She did not agree, and threw me the keys to the car and said, "take mine."
     Now I certainly didn't put up much of a fight, but neither would you if you were standing in the way of lion and her kill. This woman could eat frozen yogurt every day, the same flavor, for the rest of her life. I try to make sense out of it by relating it to my addiction to coffee.
     So I took the car and made my first pass by the yogurt shop and of course there wasn't anywhere to park. I turned around and tried the other side of the street and you guessed it, no fucking spots. And if it wasn't for the Fro-Yo Queen, I would have driven home and parked the car and left on my bike. However, I did the thing that would make her keep a normal perception of me in her head (who am I kidding, that was gone a long time ago). I ended up parking a few blocks away and walking to the shop. I wasn't in a mood and I actually found it amusing, plus I knew she would send me back the next day which would give me an excuse to redeem myself to myself.

(My bike, the following day on a yogurt run) Photo: PedalandPetal

      Not only did I redeem myself by riding my bike to the yogurt shop today, but I did it in less than have of the total time it took me drive, park and walk to the same shop yesterday. And probably the best thing was returning to my bike only to find that the kind people at my local yogurt shop tied balloons to my bike.

How do you tote you kids?

     I found this on one of my favorite blogs — Bike Snob NYC. He is a brilliant and hilarious writer, I thought you'd enjoy it.

Where do you think they're going?

Video says it all

Tour de Flower

     Being that this is supposed to be a bike blog and we are in the middle of the Tour de France, I think it's only fitting that I write about my gardenia plant that so pleasantly graces our front door with its spring-like aroma.

Jak enjoying my aroma-therapeutic gardenia plant.

Photo Credit: PedalandPetal (shot with an old Sony Cybershot) 

     Now before you hang up on me and think to yourself, this guy must be some kind of nursery-dwelling hippy that has no intention of talking about bikes, please bare with me for a moment because I actually do have a cycling related point. But first you'll need to click on this link to a video of the world's best rider, Alberto Contador, who tosses his bike to the ground after a crash. 
     Did you watch it? I don't really know what my point is, however, the last time I crashed my bike, my initial reaction was not to throw my bike on the ground and inflict further damage upon it. This is because I like bicycles, especially my own, and I have the ability to think critically and foreshadow a few hours ahead of what my needs may be. The last time I crashed I was by myself in the middle of Soquel Demonstration Forest on one of my favorite local trails. My initial reaction was to ask myself, who are you? After answering successfully I immediately apologized to my bike and helped it off of the ground and checked it for injuries. It happened to be fine, but I knew if it wasn't, I would have had a long walk out of the forest. 
     Contador obviously has a different thought process than I do, and I think it went something like this. 
     Being Alberto Contador (English translation): "You piece of garbage Specialized, there is nothing special about you. I am Spain's gift to cycling, that is why I ride an American bike, don't you know that the Spanish discovered America. Fuck that hurt, there is Lycra ground into my Spanish skin. I am the most interesting man in the world. You are just my Niña, as far as I am concerned, you have sunk, therefore deckhand, I demand my Pinta."
     Yeah, he's a strange bird, however, if he were an animal he would be an anteater (we went to the zoo today — they're weird). But to tie this back to my gardenia plant that smells like you wish you did after a ride. If Contador looked around, took a few deep breaths, hopefully getting a whiff of a French gardenia — his head would've been in a much happier place. And perhaps he would have just french kissed his mechanic for immediately handing him a carbon fiber copy of the bike he just crashed.

This is not a Flower Blog

     Now that my readership has increased by over 33 percent since my mom became my third follower, I want to make one thing very clear — this is not a flower blog.

Pink, purple or blue cone-shaped flower.

Photo Credit: G. Richard Shaw

     And while I enjoy the added essence that most flowers provide, I intend to write the majority of my posts about cycling. Now that we're clear, if you have a bicycle photo that you would like to submit to me via the comments section, I would be happy to post it on this site with a photo credit to your name. As you can see by the photo above, I've only been receiving submissions for flowers. If by chance you do send me a flower, the caption will most likely be described with the wrong colors unless you write it yourself because my third follower gifted me with genes that don't allow me to visualize all of the correct colors. 

Look-a-like Contest

     We're taking a family vacation this weekend to Lake Tahoe with my wife's in-laws for an epic Fourth of July weekend. And with four adults trapped in a cabin with four rowdies under the age of four, we are definitely out numbered. The good news is that three of the kids aren't mine.
     In an effort to put an effective car-packing plan together my favorite person shipped our dog off to spend the night at a friends house, where he'll be staying all weekend. The reason for this is so that we don't have to drop him off in the morning on the way out of town, but more importantly because when he's around everyone's efficiency level drops like 35 percent. At six-and-a-half pounds I know this sounds ridiculous, however, he just has a way of making himself the epicenter of chaos as you can see in this photo.

     Regardless of his mischievous demeanor, I've missed his presence all night. So even with him gone tonight I am still operating at a low state of efficiency. My cadence is certainly down and I am nearing a bonk. Where I should be packing up for the weekend I am instead sitting here having a beer and writing a post about him. In an attempt to re-capture his image so I can get on with my night, I searched the house for some kind of resemblance to Jak. These are what I came up with:

While they are stunning, the same color and certainly smell better — there's nothing like the real thing.

The Curious Undercutter

     Peculiar people tend to do peculiar things, and without incriminating the subject of this post — "The Curious Case of J. Kess," I would like to make it clear that this is all an alleged accusation on my part. You see, for nearly two months now my sister has been showing a real interest in taking up bicycle commuting. Of course this excites me because I wish everyone I know and don't know would ride a bike.
     With her spiked interest in our lifestyle I've been picking her brain to try and nail down what would be the correct bi-wheeled machine to fit her needs. Through emails, texts, shop visits and phone conversations with me she finally decided on an old steel frame Bianchi road bike that she came across on a local classified Web site.
     In the meantime I was reading a well overdue blog post by Mr. Curious about a new commuter bike that he'd just acquired. As I was reading the post I sent the link to my sister to show her this new bike of his that I thought she would really like. Not only did she like the bike, but she had seen the ad of the bike and wanted to contact the seller.
     Did she? I don't know, nor do I know how Mr. Curious who we will now refer to as Mr. Peculiar actually came upon this bike. The claim on his blog clearly states that he "saved" the bike from a possible joyride to the dumpster. This could be the honest truth and just a peculiar coincidence, however,  Mr. Peculiar is a racer. And as we well now, all competitive cyclists are dishonest blood dopers. Basically, in the social hierarchy of the world you have junkies, pimps and LA Dodger fans on the bottom, then competitive cyclists.
     So with all of Mr. Peculiar's credibility left on the race course here's what really happened. He thought to himself that the last thing he wants is another woman on a road bike because he strongly feels that women aren't savvy enough to ride on the pavement. His reaction was to snatch this pink Bianchi quickly enough in hopes of keeping just one more woman out of harms way and off of the road. Perhaps we all deserve an explanation from Mr. Peculiar in a guest post. Lets see if he responds.